Confidence

The past few weeks I have been having an internal struggle about how I am doing as a mother when it comes to my kids self-esteem and confidence. I have had a HUGE decision placed in front of me and after weeks and weeks - I still don't know which is the right choice for them. The reason it is so hard to decide is because it is a choice between two very good things. Plus, I can't seem to make a decision to save my life these days. AAAHHH!!!

With that in mind - what do I do to make sure they gain a sense of self and have the confidence in themselves to face this scary world? This has been a constant worry on my mind and probably will be until the day I die!

I think one way is to always talk positively about them. Which I feel sad to say is sometimes hard - not because they don't do things that are positive, but because the world these days thrives on the negative aspects of life and we all get caught up in it.

There have been times when talking to a friend or family member or even a stranger at the grocery store, when I don't stand up for what I believe and stand up for my kids. For instance, if someone at the store says, "WOW - you sure have your hands full" (which if I had a dollar for every time someone has said that to me we could have a round trip to Disneyland paid for.), I have a tendancy to respond by saying, "You have no idea" or "I sure do". Instead of saying, "Yes I do and we have a blast together!" or "Aren't I lucky to have each of these beautiful faces?"

Growing up I had an aunt that would always say, "Little pigs have big ears", which was code for there-are-children-present-so-watch-what-you-say. When these comments are made to me, my kids are right there listening to them and to my reaction. I want them to know how much I love them and to see the love I have for them by my actions and how I talk about them to others. Rather than hearing me at that weak moment after I have spent 30 minutes chasing around the store just to get some milk and eggs and I have to hear the SAME comment again from the checker who told me the SAME thing when I was there a week ago. I need to do better at showing that I love them no matter how worn out I am at that moment.

I believe that this is one of the most important factors in helping them gain a sense of confidence in themselves - to let them see how much they are loved. I also want them to know not only know how much I love them, but how much their Father in Heaven loves them. Am I showing them how much he loves them by how much I love them? I would like to say that I am, but I know I have a lot of work ahead of me.

I ran across this quote the other day, and I keep thinking about it, "Ask yourself: What is the most important thing in my life? And if the answer is your children, then live like that. Make them your center. There is nowhere higher to go. This is the Consummate Job." Iris Krasnow

Do I live like my kids are the center of my life???? Because they are my life and I love that, I love waking up each morning knowing that I get to be with them. Their innocence and imagination bring such joy to my life and help me remember Heavenly Fathers plan for all of us. They help me to see the bigger picture.

There are some days when I want to pull my hair out, but others that make it soooooo worth it. I know that I am supposed to be doing what I am right now in my life and that raising a family is the most important thing I could be doing with my time. One of these days I will wake up and all of my kids will be grown up and gone and I know in my heart I will wish that I could have one more day just to be with them. But for now - while they are still here I want to spend as much time with them that I possibly can.

I want to be the best mom I can be and I don't want to look back some day and feel bad that I chose one thing over the other for them and think, "That would have made all the difference". Despite my parents attempts to teach me to work hard, I have a natural tendency to be lazy and I don't want to take the lazy way out with my kids. They are so much better than that - they deserve so much better than that.